


A Scientist is (Not) Always Fine

by Vcxahlia



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Angst, Character Death, I'm Sorry, M/M, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-18 07:22:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3561080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vcxahlia/pseuds/Vcxahlia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos returns from the desert otherworld to find that there are times when a scientist is not always fine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Scientist is (Not) Always Fine

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to formally apologize for my everything. I don't know why I did this.
> 
> I am very, very sorry.

Carlos has long lost track of how long he's been in the desert otherworld, with its mountain and its lighthouse and its plethora of scientific curiosities, when he finds the old oak door. It's just there, surrounded by the vastness of the desert, and he knows without a doubt that this is his door home.

Whatever Cecil might think, he has been looking for the door. He might get distracted by science, because he  _is_ a scientist after all and that's what scientists  _do_ , but he's been looking nonetheless. And he's also not, no matter what some in town might say, blind to how Cecil is suffering. He listens to his boyfriend's show whenever he can and he can hear it in his voice. He can hear it when they talk on the phone in the morning or late at night or any of the other countless times they've talked because, though he may have neglected to call as often as he could in the early days, he has made an effort to talk to Cecil as much as possible. To do what he can to ease the radio announcer's loneliness.

He hates how sad Cecil has sounded lately. How tired and heartbroken he seems. How his voice has lost the life and the brightness that he had fallen in love with even when he hadn't been willing to admit to himself just how much he cared about the other man.

So he doesn't hesitate when he finds the door. He says goodbye to Doug and to Alicia and to their dog, and he opens the door, leaving behind science and discovery for something that he realizes is so much better. A life. A life with Cecil.

 

* * *

 

It's quiet in Night Vale. And dark. It must be night then. Time passes strangely in that desert otherworld and the sun is always shining so brightly. Or something is always shining so brightly. There is no definitive proof that it is, in fact, the sun, and a scientist never assumes. That is one of the most important things about being a scientist. But it is night, or the sun has decided to skip today, and Carlos has to blink against the dim of twilight. He'd forgotten what the dark could be like and he finds that he retroactively misses it more keenly at the sight of it. The town is quiet, unnaturally so, and Carlos is left to wonder if it was always this quiet. If perhaps his memories of it being more alive and lively are wrong somehow. But memories aren't real, any more than time is, so he pushes aside the thought.

He makes his way to his lab first because, as much as he wants to see Cecil more than he even wants to breath (though he wants to do that too because this doesn't feel like one of those weeks when breathing is optional), he knows that he is a mess and he wants to grab a shower and a clean lab coat and make sure his team is okay. Because he knows Cecil is okay, but he's been left to wonder about his team ever since they failed to open his door.

He finds himself at the lab, hand hesitating on the door before he finally opens it. "I'm back," he calls, to the surprise of Dave and Rachelle and the others. They shout his name in a chorus and then he finds himself being hugged tightly by Rachelle.

"Hey," he says, prying her off of him. "I'm fine. I'm fine. A scientist is always fine."

"But-" she says, only to trail off, and he wonders for a moment if he's missed something. He brushes it off as tiredness and pushes past her to grab a shower. There's bound to be a little weirdness, with him coming back after so many months.

 

* * *

 

He returns from a shower that takes longer than he would have preferred, mostly because the Faceless Old Woman who secretly lives in his home keeps moving the shampoo and the conditioner and the soap and the razor...everything really...as soon as he looks away, and a change of clothes to find the radio on and the sound of a young woman's voice coming from it.

"The sun is...around," her voice sounds slightly dull over the radio. Nothing like Cecil's. "The moon is around too, though not at the same time. Usually. And we're all terrified by the simultaneous enormity and insignificance of our own existence. Welcome to Night Vale."

She sounds familiar, he thinks is the one intern who drank the transdimensional orange juice, but he can't for the life of him figure out why she's doing the show instead of Cecil. Maybe he got a day off. Not exactly the vacation time he was hoping for, but a day's break to rest and relax. He needs it. Cecil has always worked himself too hard for this town.

"Carlos," Dave says, but he waves him off. He really doesn't want to deal with his team right now. Now that they know he's fine, he just wants to go see Cecil.

"We can talk tomorrow," he says airily. "I need to go and tell Cecil I'm back."

"But-" It's Rachelle again and Carlos really has to wonder what happened to her while he was gone. She had never been an overly emotional person. Not that there was anything wrong with that. Or with her seemingly sudden shift in that regard. He simply has to adjust. She tries to speak again, but fails.

"I'm going now," he says, grabbing one of his nicest lab coats and pulling it on. "I'm glad to see all of you. But I really need to go and-"

"Carlos." The voice is soft and gentle but firm, and Carlos recognizes it instantly. Turning, he sees Dana standing there looking...anxious. No. Not anxious. Concerned. She looks concerned as she looks at him and for a moment he feels dread settle in the pit of his stomach as he looks at the mayor. "I heard you were back. There's something you need to know."

Then she hands him a copy of a newspaper. This morning's newspaper. He knows, because it says This Morning for the date. The paper is considerate that way. He smiles slightly at the thought.

Only to have the expression fall from his face, figuratively as this isn't like that horrifying week Cecil had told him about back in November, as he reads.

He stares for an eternity, or possibly four minutes, at the story of Cecil heroically saving Mayor Cardinal from a bloody and violent incident involving rogue office supplies the day before. The story of Cecil sacrificing his life to save Mayor Cardinal from a bloody and violent incident involving rogue office supplies the day before. The story of Cecil dying for Dana. He knew, of course, about Lot 37. About Cecil's heroics and his blackouts and his worries. They'd talked about it many times. But he'd never thought...

He thought they would have more time. It was foolish, of course, because time didn't exist, but he thought that they would have more time.

"Carlos."

Dana's hand is on his shoulder, as soft and gentle and firm as her voice, and he struggles to breathe past the tightness in his chest. He can't look at her eyes, full of sympathy and concern. He can't move or think or do anything. It feels as though the bottom has dropped out of the world and he doesn't know what to do.

He was too late.

"I'm..." he chokes on the words and has to swallow before trying again. "I'm...fine. I'm fine."

But he isn't.

"A scientist is always fine."

Maybe if he says it enough, he'll actually believe it.

**Author's Note:**

> Today's proverb: People in glass houses should not throw stones. People in any sort of houses should not throw stones. How did you get in my house and why are you throwing stones? Please stop before you break something. Stop or I'm calling the police.


End file.
